Nähe und Körperkontakt zum Baby: Mama, wo bist du?

Mom where are you? 

Of course, this doesn't just mean the moms, but also the dads or the caregiver of the new world inhabitant. In general, this means that babies need their parents, their closeness and physical contact. At best, with direct skin contact. Especially with sleep problems, it can help that the babies calm down and find their way to sleep.

 Table of contents:

1. Carry
2. Pampering is not possible
3. Sleeping with closeness
4. Giving closeness
5. So much for theory



1. Carry

Many parents advocate carrying babies for this purpose and use a sling or baby carrier so that the children are very close. A sling is recommended for the first few months, as this is best adapted to the small baby body. It should be noted that children should never be carried facing forward. However, the best way to find out more is to consult a babywearing consultant. Carrying it promotes the bond between parents and child. The closeness, the warmth from the body, the breath, the heartbeat and also the movement of running relaxes the children and they often fall asleep. In addition to the fact that the baby feels very close to its parents, it also has the advantage that you have both hands free. Especially if you have other children, you need your hands free, or if you want to do the housework or cook, etc.


2. You can't spoil yourself

It is very important to know that there is not too much physical contact between the baby and its caregivers and the children are not spoiled by it either, but that is essential for their development! It was very tight for the babies in the tummies of the mums, especially towards the end, and they felt the resistance of the uterus with their bare skin. The sense of touch - covering the entire skin - is the most developed sensory organ in babies. This sensory organ was used to being exposed to stimuli, so it is important to maintain a lot of skin-to-skin contact with the baby. This leads to the children developing what is known as basic trust.


3. Sleep with closeness

Children don't just want close contact with their parents during the day. Proximity is essential, especially at night. So the question of where the baby should sleep can be answered quite easily. Children love being close to their parents, so it goes without saying that the child should spend the first few months in the parents' bedroom. You know it from yourself, if you sleep with a trusted person in the same bed for a long period of time, you miss something if the person doesn't sleep there and it's the same with our children. They were always with mom for 9 months and something is missing when mom suddenly isn't there anymore. It is therefore easier for them to fall asleep when they feel the closeness of their parents. Also, children often wake up to make sure they are not alone. This is an instinctive process to ensure earlier that there is no danger. Therefore, it is quite clear that the baby needs the parents very close, even at night. Many parents regard the family bed as the best solution. That means all family members sleep in one bed. There are various disadvantages regarding the safety of the child, but one big advantage is the closeness to the child. Again, the child is not spoiled or spoiled. Small babies cannot be spoiled and especially never with too much love and security.


4. Gives closeness

So if children are very restless and feeding and changing them don't help, and all other needs are also satisfied, then maybe simply being close will help. Bare your upper bodies and undress your children. Snuggle up together under a blanket and enjoy the closeness to each other. Maybe your child is just looking for physical contact with you.


5. So much for the theory

My midwife advised me that if Leon can't sleep again, we should get naked and just cuddle together. Never in my life would I have thought what an effect that could have. Leon has let this calm him down so many times. Especially with Leon, nothing worked without physical and skin contact anyway. At first he practically lived on top of me. Actually, the day looked like that Leon either cried or slept on me, there was no other condition. I mean, it was really exhausting and I tried different things to imitate human closeness. For example, I've wrapped a nursing pillow snugly around him so he's aware of the confinement, or put an electric blanket under him to mimic body heat. It's actually sad in retrospect. When I think about it now, I wonder why I couldn't just give him the closeness he needed. But in the situation at that time, it was just incredibly exhausting for me to be besieged around the clock. Of course I also bought a sling and later a stretcher, but to be honest I didn't use it that often. Leon fell asleep really well in the stretcher, but I had to keep moving. Did I stop or did I even dare to sit down (;-p), he woke up again immediately. And to be honest, I didn't feel like walking up and down the hall for hours. So I tried to get Leon to fall asleep while breastfeeding and then I just let him lie on top of me and sleep. I could never put him down, he woke up straight away. At some point I gave up taking him off, to be honest, the panic that he would wake up was too great for me. Because then I couldn't get him to sleep anymore, not even by breastfeeding or carrying him.


Now as to whether I spoiled Leon with it, which many people claim. No I haven't! At the time, I did a lot of googling and browsing forums to find a way for Leon to sleep without me. And sometimes I really got hit. Mothers reported that the girlfriend's friend's friend's sister (blablabla) has a child that niiie could sleep without physical contact and mom again because she let her child sleep on her. Of course I thought, great, that could still be something with Leon and me. And things like that made me very insecure. But honestly, the problem just came up on its own. My thoughts were always caught in the current, acute state and I couldn't see ahead. I always thought that if I don't do anything, it will stay the way it is now. But it just isn't like that. The "problems" will solve themselves. That's why you shouldn't worry about such things and just enjoy life with your child 🙂 So cuddle like crazy!